People Trip Me Out

Greetings!

Okay, I missed updating yesterday. I was out of town most of the day, visiting family, and I just didn't get to it. But I thought about it and I was mindful of my eating yesterday. And, well, no one is reading this yet anyway. lol I know, no excuse.

But I'm here today, writing a quick message before I eat my lunch. Well, sort of brunch since I haven't eaten yet and it's now 11:40 AM. I know, I should have eaten breakfast. I didn't. I just wasn't hungry until now.

People trip me out sometimes. Even the ones that want other people to be open minded with them - can still be so close minded themselves. I remember this gay bar I used to sing karaoke in - me and some of my friends made friends with a pre-op transgender woman. She was pretty clumsy with her make up and overall look first, but she drank in all the advice we gave her and really started looking pretty great. But our table was the only table that didn't act like she was some kind of a joke. They were all fine with all their drag queen friends, but a person coming to realize that she was actually a female and doing something about it - that was too uncomfortable for them to deal with. It made me angry. One day, I didn't see her anymore. She was a truckdriver for a living and I have worried about her more than once. I hope she is okay and happy out there in the world.

I recently had a friend tell me that she won't be coming to my wedding because she doesn't like someone else that will be there. Whatever happened to politely ignoring someone you don't like? I mean, really?

And another friend on a social networking site informed all her "political friends" that if they talk politics, she will put their messages on invisible status. I have to wonder, is that the ones that only talk politics? Or anyone who even MENTIONS it. Because I'm sorry, politics are part of life and there are ways to discuss issues without being obnoxious. And there are important things going on in the world today. Like the Occupy movement. It's a good thing to at least be SORT OF informed. It just trips me out. People talk about all kinds of things there...things that interest me...things that don't. I read the stuff I want and kind of filter out the rest. I've never thought of just ignoring everything a friend has to say, though, because occasionally they say something I'm less than pleased with. What kind of friendship is that? And yet, I know she didn't mean any anomousity in her statement. But still...it's just so bizarre.

People just trip me out sometimes. People in my own life included. Sometimes especially. That's the biggest reason I'm posting this relatively anonymously. At least here in the beginning. I tend to want to talk about and write about the things I see around me. I want to speak the truth of my life. But that inevitably leads to someone getting offended. And that just SUCKS. I love the people in my life and I really don't want my truths or opinions to offend them. Generally when I talk about things, it's more from the point of view of trying to figure things out or at least express my thoughts about them as part of the overall human condition. I really don't make much of a practice of judging people. I tend to think we are all basically doing our best and we all fuck up along the way, including me, and the best way for us to learn and grow and become is just to cotton to the fact that we sometimes do some odd stuff along the way and there's nothing wrong with examining that stuff sometimes. That's how we learn.

My Honey is off the next couple of days so I hope to do some shopping so I can begin working my way through the recipes in Biggest Loser Family Cookbook: Budget-Friendly Meals Your Whole Family Will Love. I'm pretty excited about that. One of my goals today is to pick at least five recipes to try.

Time to work and earn my keep. :)

Blessings,

Cheryl

Fresh Start Number 575,003

I am a 47 year old woman who has had a lifelong battle with my weight. I have tried every diet imaginable (okay, maybe not imaginable - people do some crazy shit in search of the "magic button of weight loss", but you get my drift) and still, at age 47, I top the scale at a good old 360 lbs.

ACK!!

But you know what? I am going to change this. I'm not exactly sure exactly how I'm going to exactly do that, but (putting on my best Scarlett O'Hara voice here) "as God is my witness, I am going to change this!"

Hmm, maybe I should be more clear. After all, hitting 400 lbs would be a change, but not the kind I am wanting.

I am going to lose this weight.
I am going to strengthen my muscles.
I am going to improve my balance and flexibility.
I am going to eat a wonderful diet of tasty wholesome foods.
I am going to be a beautiful bride in September, regardless of my size. But, the smaller the better.
And ultimately, after I have reached the size and level of physical fitness I am wanting - me and my fiance would like to audition for The Amazing Race.

I LOVE The Amazing Race. I watched it from the very beginning, although I did miss a few seasons in the middle when I kind of went off TV for a bit. But it is such an awesome show and I know it would be an incredible experience. As much as I hate to fly, I'm willing to do it for that show. That's saying a lot. Trust me on that one. lol

I also watch, and love, The Biggest Loser. I hear a lot of people on there say that they feel like they've wasted so much of their lives being fat. I don't feel I've wasted mine. My weight has never stopped me from finding a relationship - and I am living the greatest love story EVER these days. I gave birth to two healthy and beautiful children. My daughter was born at home. I'm healthy and rarely get sick. I'm smart, love to learn, love to play games on the internet, have many friends and many interests and I just LOVE to go out for karaoke and art events.

But, my knees hurt all the time. Walking is more difficult for me all the time, because I walk less and less. I avoid stairs as much as humanly possible and when I have to go down them, I am terrified. Doing the simplest of household chores is difficult. Some of them are nearly impossible to do. I get them done by paying my 14 year old daughter to do them. Yes, chores are good for her. Yes, she loves earning extra money above her normal allowance for her normal chores. But that's not the point. The point is that I can't do them. And that's bullshit.

It's time to change this. I would like to be able to dance at my wedding with my Beloved. I would like to feel strong and capable and lighter on my feet. I want myself back.

I need to baby step this. That much is certain. Every time I start again, I try to do too much too fast and I end up crashing and burning in a big way. But I have to get the spiral going in the right direction again. It is important.

I'm pretty good at working on little goals that I set for myself, so I think I'm going to start with that. :) One thing I definitely need to get better about is my eating. I mean, I don't eat horribly. But I eat enough of the wrong stuff to pretty much maintain my weight. That has to stop. My problem is, I get bored because healthy eating, to me, means eating certain things that, yes, are delicious. But there are OTHER things I also love - things like chicken pot pie, for instance - and eventually I just have to have one of them. And then I want more and more. So, I really need to figure out some more variety of delicious and healthy foods to eat. Then even if I can't figure out good variations on those recipes I love, I could at least have them even less than I do now. I really need to awaken my love of cooking so I can rely less on convenience foods too.

I loved the book and movie, "Julie and Julia" and I would like to do something similar. I joined The Biggest Loser Club for their trial offer of 3 months for $39. Pretty cool, actually. :) It comes with three books, one of which is Biggest Loser Family Cookbook: Budget-Friendly Meals Your Whole Family Will Love. It looks pretty great from what I've seen so far. And I would like to actually TRY the recipes in it, instead of doing what I usually do with cookbooks and setting them on a shelf all together, never to be touched again. So, I'm going to do some plotting and planning and proper shopping soon and work my way through the recipes in this book and let you all know what I think of them along the way. :)

Okay, so that's one goal. There are two more that I am going to set. One is that I want to drink at least 2 water bottles full of water each day. My water bottle is a liter. So that's at least 2 liters a day. Good goal. And the last goal is that I want to write in my blog every day, even if it's just to open it up and say, "yup, I'm still here and today has been on track or off track or whatever." I need to get in the habit of this again.

Okay, so water, blog, and as soon as possible, start working my way through the recipes in Biggest Loser Family Cookbook: Budget-Friendly Meals Your Whole Family Will Love. Yes, this sounds doable.

Blessed Be,

Cheryl