ACK!!
But you know what? I am going to change this. I'm not exactly sure exactly how I'm going to exactly do that, but (putting on my best Scarlett O'Hara voice here) "as God is my witness, I am going to change this!"
Hmm, maybe I should be more clear. After all, hitting 400 lbs would be a change, but not the kind I am wanting.
I am going to lose this weight.
I am going to strengthen my muscles.
I am going to improve my balance and flexibility.
I am going to eat a wonderful diet of tasty wholesome foods.
I am going to be a beautiful bride in September, regardless of my size. But, the smaller the better.
And ultimately, after I have reached the size and level of physical fitness I am wanting - me and my fiance would like to audition for The Amazing Race.
I LOVE The Amazing Race. I watched it from the very beginning, although I did miss a few seasons in the middle when I kind of went off TV for a bit. But it is such an awesome show and I know it would be an incredible experience. As much as I hate to fly, I'm willing to do it for that show. That's saying a lot. Trust me on that one. lol
I also watch, and love, The Biggest Loser. I hear a lot of people on there say that they feel like they've wasted so much of their lives being fat. I don't feel I've wasted mine. My weight has never stopped me from finding a relationship - and I am living the greatest love story EVER these days. I gave birth to two healthy and beautiful children. My daughter was born at home. I'm healthy and rarely get sick. I'm smart, love to learn, love to play games on the internet, have many friends and many interests and I just LOVE to go out for karaoke and art events.
But, my knees hurt all the time. Walking is more difficult for me all the time, because I walk less and less. I avoid stairs as much as humanly possible and when I have to go down them, I am terrified. Doing the simplest of household chores is difficult. Some of them are nearly impossible to do. I get them done by paying my 14 year old daughter to do them. Yes, chores are good for her. Yes, she loves earning extra money above her normal allowance for her normal chores. But that's not the point. The point is that I can't do them. And that's bullshit.
It's time to change this. I would like to be able to dance at my wedding with my Beloved. I would like to feel strong and capable and lighter on my feet. I want myself back.
I need to baby step this. That much is certain. Every time I start again, I try to do too much too fast and I end up crashing and burning in a big way. But I have to get the spiral going in the right direction again. It is important.
I'm pretty good at working on little goals that I set for myself, so I think I'm going to start with that. :) One thing I definitely need to get better about is my eating. I mean, I don't eat horribly. But I eat enough of the wrong stuff to pretty much maintain my weight. That has to stop. My problem is, I get bored because healthy eating, to me, means eating certain things that, yes, are delicious. But there are OTHER things I also love - things like chicken pot pie, for instance - and eventually I just have to have one of them. And then I want more and more. So, I really need to figure out some more variety of delicious and healthy foods to eat. Then even if I can't figure out good variations on those recipes I love, I could at least have them even less than I do now. I really need to awaken my love of cooking so I can rely less on convenience foods too.
I loved the book and movie, "Julie and Julia" and I would like to do something similar. I joined The Biggest Loser Club for their trial offer of 3 months for $39. Pretty cool, actually. :) It comes with three books, one of which is Biggest Loser Family Cookbook: Budget-Friendly Meals Your Whole Family Will Love
. It looks pretty great from what I've seen so far. And I would like to actually TRY the recipes in it, instead of doing what I usually do with cookbooks and setting them on a shelf all together, never to be touched again. So, I'm going to do some plotting and planning and proper shopping soon and work my way through the recipes in this book and let you all know what I think of them along the way. :)Okay, so that's one goal. There are two more that I am going to set. One is that I want to drink at least 2 water bottles full of water each day. My water bottle is a liter. So that's at least 2 liters a day. Good goal. And the last goal is that I want to write in my blog every day, even if it's just to open it up and say, "yup, I'm still here and today has been on track or off track or whatever." I need to get in the habit of this again.
Okay, so water, blog, and as soon as possible, start working my way through the recipes in Biggest Loser Family Cookbook: Budget-Friendly Meals Your Whole Family Will Love
. Yes, this sounds doable.Blessed Be,
Cheryl
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