Greetings World!
It is a very small thing at this point, but I'm feeling a change. Women who have been pregnant know the feeling of that moment when you first really become aware of your baby inside - that first flutter of movement and feeling that, yes, something is happening here. Way before anyone else can see it or know it - you feel it and know it and despite the fact that it is a teeny tiny thing - you know that in time, it will blossom forth in a huge way.
What I'm feeling - it's kinda like that.
This morning while laying in bed, I felt that my belly is smaller. It's gotten so bloated up lately with this friggin' weight gain...but today, it was smaller as I lay on my back and smoothed my hands over it. When I got up, I felt less "stuff" there when I bent and moved. This small part of me feels different - feels lighter - and there is an awakening sense of excitement inside of me over it.
I like this feeling. It's a little uncomfortable to me to talk about it, though. After all, I've had this feeling many times before. And many times before, I have ridden this feeling for a little while and then, at some point, crashed and burned - and stayed fat. I have failed at this journey time and time and time again.
But I've also done well enough at it at times that I KNOW it is do-able. I know how to make this happen. I just have to be ready to let it.
I am going to be 50 next month. I really am ready for my real life to begin, as the song says. I have things I want to do and places I want to go and I can't do those things while trapped under all this weight and weakness. So, I'm going to happily and graciously accept the blessing of this tiny little bit of excitement - trusting that if I nurture it and give energy to it - it will bloom!
Blessings!
Witchymom
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