So, today was my first day back on track and I feel like I did pretty well.
I haven't been cooking a lot lately. In fact - what I HAVE been doing too much lately is drinking. Drinking and eating fast food and crappy food and not taking proper care of myself AT ALL. I had actually managed to get my weight down to 345 for a while there, but as of today, I'm back up to 365 pounds. That is only 10 pounds less than my all time top weight. Color me mortified.
So yeah....I'm seriously needing to get my ass back on track. This just WILL NOT DO.
And today - I did pretty good. I have this nifty little program on my smart phone called "Lose It" and it allows me to enter my calories and exercise (if I actually manage to do it) and my weigh-ins and it calculates things for me to keep me on track. I tracked everything today and as of this writing, I still have 300 calories more I can eat if I want them.
I really do want to make this journal something special. My former journal - way back when (before they were called "blogs" for one thing) - was something special. I had a lot of people following me and I had message conversations with several of them. I miss that. It felt like I was part of a community of people all supporting each other. And when I lost it - I lost it BIGTIME. And despite many attempts since then - in over 11 years now, I have never been able to get that back.
But you see - this is my time now. I KNOW it is. I keep getting messages from the universe, for one thing. Like - my honey and I were watching "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium" recently. Delightful movie, for any of you who have not seen it! In it, Mr. Magorium tells his store manager, Molly Mahoney, "Your life is an occasion. RISE TO IT."
That really spoke to me. It spoke to me so much, in fact, that I wrote it down in a little notepad file that I titled "My Life" and for the last couple of weeks, I've been adding to it with notes.
The truth is, my life is out of control in EVERY way. It's NOT just my weight - it's my life. And I'm betting that it is exactly like that for most other profoundly overweight people too. Seriously, if I were to walk around my home taking pictures, it would be a very eye opening experience for sure. And...you know...I might just do that at some point. Or, at least, I might sort of do that. Like - maybe I'll add a section on this site for cleaning up and decluttering your home and then pick one spot - a bookshelf or whatever - and take a picture before and after to show my progress. I rather like that idea, actually. But...not now. Not today.
Because the truth is - I can only do this in baby steps. And today, my baby steps were that I baked a coffee cake and calculated the calories. I cooked that up for my honey and I for lunch, along with eggs. For dinner, I made potato soup, and corn bread and I will share those recipes when I have worked them out enough that they are ready to share. I need to get them more accurate before anyone else relies on them too much.
In any case, I stayed within my calorie count and I cooked meals and for that, I'm proud. Baby steps. It is the first day of the newest incarnation of the journey to be the ME that I wish to be.
Blessings!
Witchymom
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